Wife, mother, employee, daughter, sister, friend, enemy…we are called many things in our lifetimes, but do those labels define who we are? Honestly, hell yes. It is true that we all have our individual personalities, but who’s to say those personalities aren’t shaped by peoples’ impressions of us. Give me a moment to explain.
You’re a wife, an extension of your partner. No, this is not your only defining factor, but yes, it is part of who you are. The type of person you chose to marry says a lot about who you are as a person. If you marry an a**hole, regardless of who YOU are as a person, you’re now the woman married to an a**hole. If you marry a wealthy person, you’re either a gold digger or you’re high maintenance. If you marry someone “beneath” you, then you’re trying to make yourself appear superior…ladies, it goes on and on regardless of who you marry.
You’re a mother. Silky, scrunchy, crunchy. Helicopter parent, free range parent. There are SO many terms to describe mothers today, and every one of them has its own stigma. “Silky” moms are the furthest thing from healthy moms (or so I’ve read…) Few of us cloth diaper, organic is not a thing in our homes, baby gets fed how baby gets fed (breast, bottle, floor…it’s all the same really, JK!) Scrunchy moms may cloth diaper or baby wear, they try to eat organic but it’s not that big of a deal. Most of them will breastfeed but understand if it doesn’t work out (FED is best). And the crunchy moms…crunchy moms are pro-breastfeeding (many support extended breastfeeding), many cloth diaper, most baby wear, and they only eat organic. No mom is wrong for being silky, scrunchy, or crunchy. What matters is that they love their children and want what’s best for them. I, personally, am silky. Where do you fall? Regardless of your parenting style, I’m sure we all have the same goal: to raise kids who will not grow up to be total a**holes!
You’re an employee, because money doesn’t grow on trees and daycare is expensive (don’t forget the college fund!) Yes, some households can thrive on one income, but if your lifestyle is accustomed to TWO incomes, you’re back to work, chick. Look at the cost of an infant per month:
Diapers: $ 70 (depending on brand)
Wipes: $20 (again, brand)
Formula/pumping supplies: $90
Daycare: $600 (per kid, varies by location, of course)
Subtotal: $780/month
Add in new clothes (because babies will have 3 blow outs a day, and they grow like weeds) and MAYBE some toys…things get REALLY pricey.
The point, if you had a job/career before becoming a mother, your financial situation may require you to work again. If you can afford to stay home, it’s still important to stay current on information, technology, etc. within your career field so that your skills are still relevant when you return to work in a few years (no pressure). When going back to work, don’t forget to factor in sick days, doctor’s appointments, parent-teacher conferences, after school activities…the list goes on, and it all requires time off. Let’s just hope your supervision is understanding of the working mother struggle.
Look, let’s be real. Labels are a thing, titles are a thing. Whether we like it or not, they make us who we are. The lesson: surround yourself with the people you want to be associated with, raise your children with strong morals and values, and work on yourself professionally. You are strong, smart, and beautiful. You’re a great spouse and partner. You’re a fantastic mother. Most importantly, you’re YOU, and that’s all you ever can be. So be the best YOU that you can be!
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