Alright, ladies, this is where we tally up how “bad” we are as mothers. We all get it, life happens, so how many times has “life” happened to you?
Never Have I Ever…
1 Reheated coffee because it got cold while attending to the children.
2 Forgot the reheated coffee in the microwave, only realizing so while trying to reheat ANOTHER cup of coffee.
3 Gave child ibuprofen/acetaminophen and sent them to school/daycare because there was a very important meeting.
4 Served child(ren) cold cereal three times in one week because your spouse is gone and you couldn’t be bothered to cook (and hey, they like cereal so at least it's food they'll actually eat!).
5 Put the kid(s) to bed early (like, 6pm early...) because, damnit, you needed the break.
6 Drank wine straight from the bottle...at noon on a Saturday. (It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!)
7 Used wet, scratchy, brown paper towels in a public restroom as wipes because you ran out and baby had a blow-out, again.
8 Basked in the silence from the toddler(s) only to discover destruction waiting for you later (Silence is never golden when you have a toddler).
9 Forgot to feed the pet (because you were too busy keeping tiny humans alive.)
10 Forgot to switch the wash to the dryer for three days (and then had to rewash because it smells bad.)
11 Speed-cleaned the house because that cookout you planned 6 weeks ago starts in 3 hours and you forgot about it (why do we bother trying to socialize?!)
12 Put a perishable item somewhere other than the fridge/freezer (I seriously almost put a brand new gallon of milk in the pantry this week!)
13 Continued to watch a kid show/movie even after the kids were in bed (I just HAVE to know what that pup’s going to do next!)
14 Referred to one of your children as every other child’s (and pet’s name) until you finally said the right one.
15 Read two pages of a bedtime story before skipping to the end.
16 Told the kid(s) that the play place/arcade/movie theater/park/zoo/etc. was closed so that you didn't have to go today.
17 Hid somewhere to eat a snack (or dessert) that you didn't want to share.
18 Pretended to use the bathroom (while your spouse was home) so that you could get 5 minutes to yourself.
19 "Checked" your kids' halloween candy so that you could A) Ensure they're safety but also B) Get your pick of favorites before returning it to the kids.
20 Nodded off on the couch at 6am (on a Saturday) because the kids have been up since 4:30 watching cartoons and your poor eyelids just couldn't fight it any longer.
21 Ate off of paper plates because how can you be expected to cook AND do dishes every night?
22 Let the kids watch TV or play on the tablet all day over a weekend so you could actually get shit done (those toilets aren't going to clean themselves!)
23 Gave the kids too much tooth fairy money because all you had was a $5 bill and you sure as hell were not going to the store to get change.
24 Stayed up to some ungodly hour assembling Santa gifts (because why the hell would the directions make any damn sense AND the package include all of the correct hardware?!)
25 Had to re-read this, or any article/blog/post, at least three times because partner or kids kept interrupting.
I scored 23/25. How did you do? Comment below!
Remember, we’re all moms. We all have similar struggles. Remember that you’re not alone in your struggle. Did the kids eat? Yes. Were the dirty diapers changed? Yes. Did the laundry (eventually) get washed? Yes. Did you find out what the pup did next? Probably!
The lesson: You’re still a good mom! Regardless of how many of the above you answered “yes” to, you’re doing the best you can, and that’s all you can do. So make yourself a fresh cup of coffee, or pop the cork on that wine bottle, but don’t let the little things get to you.
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