So, if you’re anything like me, you’re a fool too. The story starts out different for everyone, but it turns into a blessing (I hope). You find out you’re pregnant with your first child, planned or unplanned, but that little tadpole becomes your world. You’re anxious for your first doctor’s appointment at around the 12 week mark, if you’re lucky you go into the office around 6 weeks to date the pregnancy and check the heartbeat—which you find out isn’t really much of a heartbeat, but more of a whooshing sound…You go to your 12 week appointment and they do your first ultrasound. Now it’s real, there’s really a baby in there! You go through the rest of your pregnancy the best you can, some of the pregnancies are harder than others. Finally the day comes that you meet your bundle of joy. You’re overwhelmed with joy and proud of the accomplishment of birthing a child, whether a drug free water home birth, a medicated birth in the hospital, or a c-section. No judgement, ladies, birthing a child, is birthing a child. Your body is amazing, own it! After three days of interrupted sleep from nurses, pediatricians, and OB/GYNs, you’re discharged and sent home with this fragile little baby wondering “What have we done? We’re not ready to be parents! Why the hell would they let us leave with this little baby we know nothing about?!” It’s okay, we’ve all been there.
The hard decisions come rushing in: circumcised or not, vaccinated or antivax, breast or bottle (or both), become a stay at home mom or return to work. They go on and on, and regardless of your decision, you’re judged, and the mom guilt sets in. You make your decisions and carry on being the best mom you can be.
Even without the judgement, you learn that motherhood isn’t all it was cracked up to be. There are late nights, early mornings, endless diapers, doctor appointments, days missed from work. Baby’s first, terrifying fever, ear infections, teething, and general crankiness. Baby won’t take THIS bottle, only THAT one. Baby has to be rocked to sleep and wakes up as soon as s/he is put in their crib. But even with ALL of this, you still have a good baby…an “easy” baby (if you’re lucky, praying for those of you with less “easy” babies). You enjoy this time. Take pictures and videos recording baby’s firsts, cherishing every moment. You celebrate baby’s first birthday with a cake and a silly theme that baby will be embarrassed about at high school graduation. And then it happens…
It…that thought…The one that says you can do this again. The discomfort of pregnancy, the pain of labor, the sleepless nights, never having your body to yourself. Somehow, we foolish ladies forget ALL of that, and we’re crazy enough to think we can handle it again…So what do we do..? We convince our partners for round 2, because round 1 was apparently a walk in the park (a park with dinosaurs..). Awhile later we are overjoyed to learn that our family is growing again. We make some cutesy announcement about Baby A being promoted to being an older sibling.
If we thought we were tired with Baby A, boy were we wrong. Chasing a toddler or entertaining a preschooler is exhausting enough without having your energy zapped from that baby growing inside of you. Still, you make it through your 9 months, delivery, and recovery. This time, though, things are different. There aren’t as many pictures and videos. There are less cuddles. Baby B isn’t loved any less, no, but now the time is divided between Child A and Baby B. Life is hard, and will continue to get harder.
In my case, my boys are two years apart, currently 4 and 2. Their personalities are SO different. My oldest is sensitive. The boy cries about EVERYTHING, and the thought of disappointing my husband or me is the worst thing in the entire world. He thinks I don’t love him if I pay attention to my youngest. My youngest…he’s a pain in the a**! He climbs on EVERYTHING, he doesn’t listen (he laughs in your face and does the opposite of what you say!). The two of them seriously are making me lose my mind. I can’t discipline them the same way because they’re completely different children. You see a lot of mommy blogs talking about coffee and wine, and this, ladies, is why. Our kids put us through the ringer. If one isn’t acting up, it’s the other, and heaven forbid they act out at the same time!
I know moms of one child have it just as hard. And, honestly, if I waited until my first was a little older, I’m not sure we would have had the second child. But since he’s here now, he’s my world. Him, his big brother, and their amazing father.
The lesson today: Cherish the moments you have, the good and the bad. They’re only kids once, and no matter how frustrating, they’re each a part of you. You are not alone. Invest stock in coffee and wine, girl, you’re going to need it!
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